Ninja Shadow Yuzuki Epilogue (Yuzuki POV)
by opium0dreams
Summary: This is from the visual novel Ninja Shadow, characters are Yuzuki & the main character Saori. I never got the actual epilogue ending prize in the game so I just wrote one myself. Not sure who may be interested in this, but to whoever reads it I hope you enjoy as much as I did writing it. Feedback is greatly encouraged & appreciated. *I own nothing & am making no money with this.


Yuzuki struggled to keep a firm hold of his lamp despite his palms being slick with sweat, and it had nothing to do with the humid Nagasaki air as he and Saori exited the Meiko Salon and made their way back to his family's import shop. They had just excused themselves from a party with their vigilante comrades that had shown no sign of ending despite the fact that it was well past midnight, saying they had to work early the next day. Truthfully, everyone there had early morning day jobs but the rare occasion when they could all gather together for something other than missions was special. Plus, being an assassin could turn your heart to stone if you didn't purposefully determine to open up and enjoy good food and drink with loved ones from time to time. But everyone knew how serious he was about working hard for his adoptive family and after some good-natured teasing about the love birds having some alone time, they had merrily seen them off.

They passed a narrow alley and heard hushed voices, most likely one of the many crooked merchants and corrupt politicians or samurai making a shady business deal. Normally they disgusted Yuzuki but he barely noticed them and felt on edge for an entirely different reason right now. Back at the party he had seen their master Makoto smiling in a predatory way as he leaned far too close to Saori, and what was worse – she had blushed and smiled back. It had caused a great heaviness to settle on his heart as he watched his fiance react to another man. But the truth of the matter, what made him feel the deepest pain, was that it was completely his fault. If he had been giving her the affection and love she deserved, this wouldn't be happening.

He wanted to, desperately. He used to hate women and would compulsively clean himself if one touched him. But he now loved kissing her, breathing in the fragrance of her short cropped hair, feeling her petite but strong body against his when they hugged before going to their separate rooms each night. She was precious to him, and he never wanted to part from her for the rest of his life. But no matter how tightly he held her, or how sweetly they kissed, it was not enough. He could see it in her eyes, and he even felt it himself. That deep ache for more. But he froze each time, stiffly releasing her and escaping into his room.

No matter how many times he told himself tonight was the night he would ask her to share his bed, the deep primal fear that had grown with him since childhood would seize his words and render him a useless coward. With the help of his mentor Soji and incalculable hours of meditation, he had come to understand what it was and how it had been sown into his heart. When he was a small child and his mother had discarded him like garbage and ran off, he had learned a hard truth. It doesn't matter how much someone says they love you, or who you are to them - if they want to leave then nothing will stop them. Not even the blood-bond of mother and her child is sacred and unbreakable. So how could a romantic relationship be anything but temporary? Rationally, he told himself it wasn't true, that Saori loved him as he loved her. But when it came to the next step - opening his body and soul to another when he believed deep down that he would eventually be abandoned, was just too much. But it had been nearly a year since their decision to become engaged. They had not gone past kissing and still had no date set for a ceremony. Neither of them could take much more of this.

They were both silent as they entered the Hiranoya import shop and stepped out of their shoes. The interior lamps had been extinguished hours ago, and his father and brothers as well as the servants were all asleep in their rooms. Yuzuki blew out his own lamp before locking the entrance and turning to place a hand on his fiance's back out of habit, but felt himself hesitate and lower that hand back down to his side. It was hard to tell in what little moonlight came through the window, but he almost thought he saw Saori's delicate lips tighten before she quickly turned her face away and began walking further into the building. Tears stung his eyes as he followed behind her, feeling hopelessness and frustration squeeze his chest as they walked back towards the living quarters. When they arrived at their bedroom doors, Yuzuki watched helplessly as his fiance stood silently at her door, looking down. He wanted to reach out to her, to hold her tightly. But all he could do was mutely stay rooted in the spot and watch her finally give up and go inside her room. The sound of the door sliding shut felt like a blade slashing his chest and he barely got inside his own room before sinking to the floor.

His face was a contorted mask of pain as he silently cursed himself and the fear that paralyzed him. He was losing her, if she wasn't gone already. Maybe he would be doing her a kindness, letting her go. She could go back to Makoto at the Meiko Salon, where she would certainly be happier. The experienced leader of the Vigilantes would have no problem loving her like a man is supposed to love a woman. But that thought crushed him, and he balled his fists against the tatami floor as his mind churned in despair.

Some hours and countless dark thoughts later, Yuzuki started awake from a doze. He looked around the darkness in confusion, wondering why he was not in bed, and what had woke him up. Then he heard a sharp cry from Saori's room across the hall. Instinct made his body move on its own and before he knew it, he had already ran out of his room and was through her door and on his knees at her side.

He could sense only Saori in the room – laying in her futon bed on the floor, her body turning back and forth as she moaned in pain.

"Saori!" Yuzuki quietly cried in a panic.

His precious fiance reacted to the sound of his voice by blindly reaching out to grab his kimono by the collar and pull him down into her arms. As his face became buried in her hair, he felt the wetness on her cheek that pressed against his. "Saori, what's wrong?!" he asked.

"You left me and I couldn't find you! Don't leave me! Please..." her voice choked out, distorted with emotion as she continued to sob and hold him tightly.

Yuzuki's eyes widened as her words pierced his heart.

"Please…" she whispered, almost sounding defeated.

His arms shifted to circle beneath her and take his turn to hug her tightly against his chest. She felt so small and fragile, he was afraid she would break but he couldn't control himself. This girl was his entire world and in this moment he could think of nothing but her, of her scent and of her body against his own in the darkness.

Without even thinking about it, their lips had found each other and tears streamed out of both their tightly shut eyes as the kiss became desperate and fierce. Forgotten were the chaste pecks and reserved hand holding of the past. Their hands now hungrily grasped at each others hair and clothes, driven by the urgency of long-repressed need.

With both never having done this before, there was clumsiness and pain as their naked bodies entwined. Yuzuki heard Saori's sharp gasp and froze.

"Please...don't...don't stop..." her strained whisper sounded as if it came through clenched teeth.

Yuzuki felt her arms tighten around his back, and almost lost himself at the feeling of her hot, wet skin against his but clenched his jaw as he resisted. "I don't want to hurt you."

"...Yuzuki..." she pleaded.

It took everything in him to slowly and carefully push himself inside her. The only thing keeping him centered was the sharp breaths she tried so hard to stifle into her hand whenever he moved. Every time she quietly gasped in pain, he stopped pushing to lovingly caress and kiss the soft skin of her chest. She seemed to react to his touch with faint sighs of pleasure, and so they went back and forth this way for some time. The moments seemed to stretch endlessly, but he felt no impatience or frustration. In fact, rather than his usual constant mental stream of worry and self hatred, there were no conscious thoughts at all as they strained together. His mind knew only a fierce love and protectiveness as they slowly and painfully joined.

When he finally felt completely embraced by her, the throbbing heat made him light-headed and he pressed his feverish cheek against hers. Never in his life had anything felt so wonderful and he held her tightly to try not to lose it in that moment. Her shallow, hitched breathing brought him back to reality. "Are you ok?" he asked, worry pushing against the euphoria as he kissed her forehead.

She didn't respond with words, but nodded and clutched his back in the silence.

"Saori..." he breathed, his head swimming from the pleasure.

When her firm legs circled around his waist, he began to slowly move his hips. There was an almost unbearable tightness since she had never been opened before. But any time he stopped, her hands would grip the back of his neck and she would again whisper "Yuzuki, please..." So he forced himself to keep moving as carefully and gently as he could.

At some point in all of this, his breathing sped up as he felt the warmth spread through his entire body. The only thing that kept him from becoming completely lost in the sensation was clinging tightly to his fiance and burying his face in her short silky hair. "Saori...I love you...so much..." he managed to pant before finally losing all the strength in his body.

He felt her fingers lightly brushing his hair as he lay still on top of her, and when he could move again he gingerly pulled himself out to lay beside her. "Are you ok?" he asked. In the darkness, he couldn't see her expression, only heard the sheets rustle as she moved to cuddle up to his chest. He felt her trembling, and held her gently. "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry I hurt you." he said sadly as he kissed the top of her hair.

Finally she spoke, her voice barely a whisper as he felt it caress the skin of his neck. "Please don't say that you're sorry. Yes...it...hurts. But, I'm so happy. I wanted you to touch me for so long."

Her trembling voice wrapped around his heart and he tightened his arms around her. "I'm sorry I made you wait. Please forgive my weakness. If you will still have me, I will make it up to you from now on."

She was silent for a moment before finally answering. "Promise me you will never leave me. Promise if I ever do anything to make you stop loving me, that you will tell me and let me fix it. Please." Her voice shook as he felt her body tremble against his. "Yuzuki, I never want to part from you..."

He slid down on the futon to better face her. Rather than the passionate hunger from earlier, he hoped to convey his steadfast determination to stay with her as he cupped her cheek and pressed his lips firmly against hers. In his bitter heart, he knew words like "promise" didn't guarantee anything. But despite that, he knew that after all they had been through together that he could never live without her. If saying so made her happy, then he would. "I'm not going anywhere." he said after their lips had parted. "And if you ever decide that you no longer want me, then just kill me with your sickle, because I won't live without you."

Her voice was slightly muffled as she burrowed her face into his chest once again. "Yuzuki...if you ever died, then I also would die."

Yuzuki frowned in the darkness, almost feeling physical pain from her words. He believed that she honestly meant what she said right now, but what might happen in the future? Up until now he had only felt betrayal and loneliness, and deep down only expected the same in time. But he wanted it to be different, he wished with all his heart as he wrapped his arms around the one he loved.

His thoughts were interrupted as she began to shiver again, and he reached over to the discarded blanket and covered them both. After a moment she relaxed and seemed to fall asleep, her breaths a faint but steady warmth against his chest. His own eyelids were heavy but he fought to stay awake and savor every feeling of her well-toned body pressed against his beneath the covers. Despite his best efforts, he drifted in and out of consciousness as the night waned. When he could begin to see the outline of her beautiful face in the pale blue predawn light, he finally lost the fight and fell into a deep dreamless sleep.


End file.
